Reoccurring hazy fog of a Monday morning

-
Throughout my journey so far on the BA PP course I have had many lightbulb moments, and also moments of complete hysteria where I don't have a clue what I am doing. Through our community on blogger and also the Facebook group (which has been a god send) I have managed to stumble through module 1 and into module 2, but feel like I have constantly not been able to catch myself fully upright on my feet. 

I tuned into a Skype session with a module 3 focus last week. I logged into Skype and was away chatting with module 3 students and some of my fellow module 2 students. My intent going into a Skype session is always blown out of the water and I come out with different thoughts, my questions that I write down before hand and intended to ask are either irrelevant or just don't fit into the conversation. My mind is away thinking about what has just been discussed during the session and my questions are left on the side unanswered. This is what I call my 'reoccurring hazy fog of a Monday morning'. That feeling of not knowing what is ahead of you and the second that you complete something and feel like you are getting somewhere, you fall straight back to square one and are off on another path, never reaching a comfortable position.

Overtime and lots of tears, I have found that it is important to find comfort in the feeling of not knowing. This has not been easy to come to terms with as I often get very frustrated at 'not knowing', however I have become aware that it is not always a bad thing. You have to persevere and continue through. We will never reach the end and get to that 'comfortable state' as this would intend that we have either learnt everything that we need to learn (not possible) or given up progression. We are here on this course to continue our learning and I personally think that is fantastic within itself. If there are BA PP people that have not joined the facebook group I would recommend you do. It is a safe space for questions that you desperately want to ask but feel it might be silly or obvious, but most likely others are thinking it too. We are all professionals and encourage other people to ask questions if they don't understand something that we say/do/teach or demonstrate, but we are always the last ones asking the questions. 

Take comfort in the hazy fog and know that it is all part of the process. 

Comments

CathLimerick said…
Hey Alison! I completely agree with this post that the frustrating and somewhat panicked feeling of not knowing is something to get used to. I feel as though this is very relevant to the current situation the world finds itself in at the moment. The feeling of everything being up in the air. Getting back to the course, I have often described it as shooting in the dark and hoping to hit something. But I have learned that you will always hit something - even by not hitting anything you are learning from it. The best we can do is to carry on pushing through and discovering more about ourselves and our practice as we go along. I did a post over on my blog where I compare it to an app that was created to allow people to get to work using a route they had never been on before. https://cathleenlimerick.blogspot.com/2020/03/processing-processes-module-3-skype.html
2 April 2020 at 02:37
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ethical considerations within my workplace

-
I think the way we think about ethics and the way we portray them in life has a lot to do with; how and where we are brought up, how open minded we are and experience. My upbringing was not one of religion, I wasn't exposed to it at all and I was from a small town. My big move to a city at 16 was when I realised how different life was. I had no option but to open my eyes and change the way I looked at things. I felt a bit like a blank canvas that was able to form my own considerations but also a little uneducated in approaching certain situations. Attending other dance classes was a massive eye opener for me. There was a student that didn't take off their cardigan for the entire ballet class, throughout the barre, centre work, allegro and all the way through to pointe work. Out of curiosity I asked why they made this choice, to which they politely explained that it was due to religious reasons they were making this choice. Things as simple as this I had never had to think abo...
Read more

Isolation Lockdown

-
For those who are new to my blog, I am a dance and yoga teacher in a school for special educational needs and disability (SEND), and I also work in a private dance school a few nights a week teaching ISTD syllabus in tap, modern and ballet. Unfortunately due to the current situation around Covid-19 the dance school has closed for the foreseeable, which is extremely sad but others are in this very same situation. I miss my students so much, they were meant to be doing their annual show this week!! We are keeping spirits high by constantly posting on the schools instagram page and streaming live or pre-recorded classes. I am still working during the day as the school as this place of work falls into the 'vulnerable' section and we are required to keep providing services for the students who need additional care. Due to the vulnerability of some students we have been forced to go into a lockdown in some of the homes connected to the school and college. I have been working and livi...
Read more

Qualifications V Experience - My Perspective

-
Wednesday 25th discussion brought forward a question that I have never thought of before.   Does somebody require a qualification in order to work within a specific role, or is experience justifiably as good as a qualification? This is something that I have never had to answer before. I have always thought that they go hand in hand but was slightly swaying towards qualification, because it is what I have been told and taught. But starting in my new position, as a dance teacher in a specialist needs school, experience is outweighing any form of exam that I could take. This is when I realised that I have started my new beginning (if there is such thing), or is this just an on going journey of learning? I qualified as an ISTD teacher in classical ballet, modern theatre and tap dance with a DDE in each subject. This gave me insight into the growth of a child, health and safety in the work place, why the ISTD syllabus is structured like it is to fit growth patterns, different w...
Read more